Down Syndrome, Maybe?

It's been hinted at more than once. Someone looks at my daughter and asks if she has Down Syndrome. The more it happens, the more I find myself starting to believe it. At first, it feels like they are just looking at her eyes and assuming because they drift up like they do that she has it. I'll admit, before we had an official diagnosis with MGS I thought it might have been Down Syndrome as well.  We brushed off all of her symptoms because we thought it was all related to her eyes, but as we approach her four month wellbaby visit with her pediatrician, I find myself bracing for the news that something else may be going on.

It started with a comment my mother made on Sunday. We skyped, as is our main way of communication so they can see and ooh and aah over their granddaughter. My mother didn't speak much for once. I attempted to get in contact with her for the rest of that day, and ended up touching bases with her the next morning. She knew why I was calling. I felt the same thing she saw. Something was off with Bug.  She was the first to say it.  Bug looked a little bit like a Downs baby.  She didn't have to say it, I knew I was thinking it.  It had been suggested before, but everyone brushed it off when they learned of her eye disorder, much like we all had, but it was different coming from my mother. Of course, she had mentioned it once before as well, but she also had decided it was all related to her eyes.

It has been mentioned before that Google is a dark friend to have. I found myself knee deep in symptoms of Down Syndrome yesterday. Do I see a Simian Crease, or are the three lines in her hand just bunched together? Is it sandal toe, or does she just have more control over her big toe than her small toes and separates it more easily from the rest of her toes?  Are her eyebrows similar to other children with Down Syndrome's eyebrows, or are they just her daddy's eyebrows?  The major scare on my mind is the fact her head is small. Her weight measured in the 75th percentile at her 2-month wellbaby visit, while her head was at the 26th percentile. I have heard they don't worry until it is in the 10th percentile or lower, but what about me? When should I as a mom worry?

So I get to send my husband in with a new concern to the pediatrician on Tuesday. He gets to hand over a list of things that have me worrying, and she'll be checked out. I'm scared to ask. I'm scared something is going to be wrong and she'll verify it. I know as far as getting her help is concerned, I need to know everything that is going on, but I also know I could be a lot happier pretending something isn't there.

I'm tired of being the strong mother who faces adversity and challenges with my daughter and meets them head on. I don't want to play this role anymore. I'm scared for my daughter.